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Actor Ryan Reynolds is known for having a fantastic Twitter game. He’s smart, clever, sarcastic, and witty. His warped sense of humor means he often posts things that make you think, laugh, or even cringe at the thought (even though you know he’s joking.)
Most of his best Tweets relate to his life as a father. Reynolds married fellow actor Blake Lively in 2012 and they now have three daughters together, including the third who was born this year. Their first child was born in December 2014, which explains why many of his best Tweets begin in mid-to-late 2015.
RELATED: 10 Times Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds Were Relationship Goals
While it’s tough to narrow it down to just a few because they’re all so funny, here are 10 of the popular actor’s most hilarious Tweets.
Afraid of Gluten
“People in LA are deathly afraid of gluten. I swear to god, you could rob a liquor store in this city with a bagel.”
Gluten allergies are real. But the fact of the matter is that a vast majority of people who claim to have one don’t have one at all or might just have a sensitivity to gluten that could result in an upset stomach but nothing more. Nonetheless, in L.A., gluten is treated like a peanut butter sandwich in a school classroom: people go running if they even get close to it.
Sure, Reynolds is exaggerating when he says you could rob a bank with a bagel. But that’s what makes this 2017 Tweet so funny. It’s so funny, in fact, that he got more than 330,000 likes on it!
Walk Into Fire
“I’d walk through fire for my daughter. Well, not FIRE because it’s too dangerous. But a super humid room. But no too humid, because my hair.”
This one is so funny because you can almost see the comedic actor, known for roles like Van Wilder and Deadpool, actually saying it. At first he makes it sound as though he’d do anything for his daughter. But then he comes to the realization that wait, fire is dangerous!
The comment about avoiding humidity because it could ruin his beautiful hair (he really does have great hair) is the icing on the cake for this one.
Best Years Of Your Life
“Being a father is the single greatest feeling on earth. Not including those wonderful years I spent without a child, of course.”
He starts this Tweet out with a beautiful statement that makes you think he’s about to say something really nice. But then he hits you with the punchline: being a dad only represents the best years of his life when you don’t include the years he spent without a child, of course.
The Tweet was posted in the summer of 2016 when Reynolds only had one child – his second, Inez, was born a few months later.
Oops, Sorry Ladies
“Tinder isn’t a babysitting app. Apologies to Crystal and Janine for the misunderstanding.”
Posted in 2016, Reynolds joked that he had accessed the dating/hookup app Tinder by accident, thinking it was for finding a babysitter.
Of course, he knows full well what Tinder is. The point of the joke was to show how out of touch he was with youth culture now that he was a doting dad. There really wasn’t a Crystal or Janine, though lots of women probably wished they could meet him and babysit his kids.
Deadpool and Dolly
“Curiously, the best thing about a #Deadpool photoshoot is singing Dolly Parton songs full blast while heavily, HEAVILY armed. Unexpected.”
Reynolds is known for inserting a lot of old pop culture references into his Deadpool movies, like the Golden Girls theme song or the teaser ad imitating Bob Ross. So it comes as no surprise that he reflects on doing a photoshoot with plenty of weaponry while singing Dolly Parton tunes.
Born in 1976, Reynolds is 43 and grew up during a time when Dolly Parton was at the top of her game.
Deep Thoughts
“The word ‘alleged’ adds intrigue to anything. ‘This alleged candy is yummy.’ ‘My alleged brother is hog-tied in my van, crying for help.’”
In a “deep thoughts” Tweet from 2015, Reynolds reflects on the use of the word “alleged” and how it can add intrigue to just about anything, then he provides a few examples. The first makes his point – if you call candy “alleged candy” wouldn’t that make people suspicious about it?
But then he takes things even further and makes it sound like he hog-tied his brother and threw him into the trunk of his van. It’s all in jest, of course. Because in the latter case, the use of the word alleged isn’t needed at all to add intrigue to the statement.
Pissing Rain
“I don’t like the expression ‘pissing rain.’ Because if it was actually urine, it would totally ruin movies like The Notebook.”
In a “random thoughts” Tweet, Reynolds considers the use of the term “pissing rain” and how he doesn’t like it. The word “pissing” has the connotation of, well, urine, and that gives the phrase an entirely new, and pretty gross, meaning.
Fun fact: The Notebook starred another famous and handsome Ryan – Ryan Gosling – who, like Reynolds, is also Canadian.
Shout Out To My Wife
“Just want to wish Billy Ray Cyrus the most special, magical birthday ever. I love you with all my heart. Also, Happy Birthday to my wife.”
Lively surely got a good laugh out of this Tweet where Reynolds pretends to send a heartfelt birthday greeting to Billy Ray Cyrus than mentions his wife only in passing.
Hey, if your birthday getting is going to get hijacked, it might as well be for the singer of “Achy Breaky Heart!” Nonetheless, the Tweet showed how playful Reynolds could be and that he knew his wife could take a joke. In another birthday Tweet, he wished her a happy birthday and posted a photo of the two of them with half of her face cut out of the image.
Looking Lovingly Into Your Eyes
“Nothing better than spending an entire morning staring into my baby daughter’s eyes, whispering ‘I can’t do this.’”
Another Tweet that starts out sweetly then quickly turns dark, Reynolds discusses looking into his baby’s eyes as though he’s thinking about how much he loves her, or how he wants to protect her for the rest of her life.
Nope. According to his Tweet, he’s thinking about how he can’t do this whole dad thing. Of course considering that Reynolds went on to have two more children with Lively, he didn’t really mean this. Well, not entirely. Every parent has felt this way at one time or another.
Screaming Babies
“No matter which kids book I read to my screaming baby on an airplane, the moral of the story is always something about a vasectomy.”
Any parent can relate to this if you’ve ever traveled with a baby or toddler by plane. No one ever wants to be the person whose child is screaming and crying bloody murder the entire flight, especially if you’re booked into first class.
Reynolds jokes that the moral of any story he might choose to read to his daughter on a plane is to get a vasectomy. In other words, while he loves his wife and their kids, no more kids, please. He’s done. At least in that moment.
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